Saturday, May 21, 2011

5) Riskopoly and Tea: The /T/ That Sank a Thousand Dollars in Australia

DukeOEarl: One of the great things about Riskopoly is the ability to extort money from other players.  However, it particularly sucks when it happens to you.  Such is the case with Pain, who was told by Brosef #1, "Give up your monopoly or you will be wiped off the Risk board by my 22 armies in Africa." So Pain, being the capitalist pig that he is, sees an opportunity to profit from such a threat.  Pain trades two of the monopoly properties to Duke, dissolving the monopoly, with the conditions unknown to Brosef #1 that in two Risk turns, the properties will return to Pain, and I will be paid $1000.  Since Brosef #1 was still in the act of buying the armies when extorting the Pain, I decided to place the armies in Asia and finally wiped out the freshman via a backdoor.  However, he lost a lot of armies and Pain promptly took Central America to prevent Brosef 2 from holding all of N.A.

Tea_Pain: Oh /T/sus.  I haven't felt this bad after smelling a /t/ since drinking pu erh.  You'd think that chocolate chips would be appetizing. Oh well, into the press it goes.

DukeOEarl: I don't see what Tea_Pain's crying like a bitch about. This smells like a brownie made with mint schnapps. (find a transition for this somehow...good luck, sir) That looks like swamp water.  No, worse, it looks like the water used to clean the back room of the porn store.

Tea_Pain:  This also doesn't taste like chocolate at all.  This is so overpowered by mint that I'm actually thinking of raising past ratings on the other /t/s to make up for their newfound lack of minty-ness.

DukeOEarl: Well ya, all of these are minty.  Element Tea must have some sick fetish for mint.  Like I have a sick fetish for January Jones (who better not be lying bout that baby being mine or I'll punch you in the mouth, January).  Or like Dart girl has a fetish for screaming really loudly during sex and then I play the dubstep cause Pain shouldn't be having sex for more than two minutes.  It's just not healthy.  Seriously, mint is in like every god damn /t/.  It's surprising that they don't sell menthol tea bags, mint tea shampoo, or peppermint cocaine on their website.  On second thought mint cocaine would probably burn like hell.  Better make it bacon cocaine.  Wait a second.  I'm patenting that.

What: Chocolate Mint
How much: $2.50/oz
What kind: Herbal - Chocolate, Mint
Taste: Like a non-alcoholic Girl Scout
Repeat Drinkability: 3/10  (Would probably help when drinking an updated version of The Girl Scout, otherwise it's staying in the bag for a while.)
Manliness: 5/10  (Like admitting defeat while not being able to take North America, you'll be missed freshman.  lol not really.)

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