Saturday, May 21, 2011

4) Riskopoly and Tea: I'mma get that bitch a cannon

Tea_Pain: Bitches love cannons. So I bought my Panamanian bitch a cannon and started running train on North America.  Oh you want to destroy my continent? Fuck yes I do.

DukeOEarl: Yeah, and you know what China? You're gonna die too.  Why? Because you have fucking Nepal and Nepal loves to be in the middle of war.  Free Tibet? I'm about to liberate you all to heaven with my chariots and tanks.  Also free ice cream for all my citizens on Wednesdays.

Tea_Pain: You know what, we're going to define ironic for you hipsters out there. We're gonna review the Nepal SFTGFOP1 since they just got burned to the ground.  If you remember, we did a similarly named /t/ back near the creation of the blag.  So as I watched India (and, subsequently, Nepal) burn to the ground, I couldn't help but wonder what kind of signals were being emitted from the game.

As I took my first sniff of the sample, I realized that there wasn't a fragrance here.  Maybe the previous minty /t/s had destroyed my sense of smell. Or maybe I was still busy directing my focus to how much I didn't want to land on New York Avenue my next turn.  I threw the majority of the sample in the pot and watched it steep.

I poured out what seemed to be a good-looking Darjeeling and, still, not a whole lot of fragrance.  The taste was also a little weak. Sure, I got some sweetness near the end, but otherwise it was somewhat bitter and dry.  Seeing that I used a timer and all to brew the /t/, I doubt over-steeping was the main cause of this. As I listened to a mixture of Tupac and screams of anguish from the black player getting taken over in Africa (again, irony), I made up my mind that this was nothing more than a breakfast /t/.  It suffered from the "meh factor" that so many breakfast /t/s seem to be affected by.  It is solid in a sense that it is extremely caffeinated and tastes like /t/, but it isn't spectacular.

On a side note, I decided that I wasn't going to just give up on this /t/ in one steep.  I brewed a second steep and, sure enough, it became exponentially better. This /t/ could probably go 3-4 steeps, at this rate, but all I know is that the second steep saved this /t/.

What: Nepal SFTGFOP1  (Element Tea)
How much: $3/oz
What kind: Black
Taste: Average Darjeeling is average
Repeat Drinkability: 6/10  (Resteeping this /t/ makes it more valuable than freeing Tibet)
Manliness: 8/10  (Tons of caffeine and a solid /t/ flavor makes this essential for lumberjacks and astronauts everywhere)

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