Sunday, June 24, 2012

Tea_Pain, Y U No Update?

Podcast 25: Tea_Pain, Y U No Update?

Apparently when Duke leaves the country, I have no reason to update the blag. Sorry bros and brahs, we're back up and running again.

On a more serious note: people are still shopping at Teavana. How do we stop this? Is there a special picture we can put on Facebook and get a shit-ton of likes so that we can stop atrocities like this tea? Solutions are welcome and encouraged.

What: Citrus Lavender Sage (Teavana)
How much: $5.00 / oz
What kind: Herbal is garbage
Taste: Flat 50/50
Repeat Drinkability: 2/10 (Expense, can't steep more than once for several reasons, and I have to save some for Duke so I can torture him with it at some point. Thus, I'm hoarding until it is to be destroyed by lots and lots of fire.)
Manliness: 0/10  (This would attract Bieberflies, if they existed.)

Monday, May 14, 2012

We put our tea in your Secret Garden

We disobeyed Lori, we took our damn finals, we finally got some damn /t/ea.

Podcast 24: We put our tea in your Secret Garden

What: Secret Garden (Tea Embassy)
How much: $5.75 / oz
What kind: White, Green
Taste: Warm Juicy Fruit
Repeat Drinkability: 3/10  (1 steep and no chance of cholera)
Manliness: 1/10 (Like a mustache ride from John Waters)

What: Milk Oolong (Tea Embassy)
How much: $10 / oz
What kind: Oolong
Taste: Green tea with oatmeal... it tastes better than it sounds
Repeat Drinkability: 6/10  (In the words of Adam, "It's aight.")
Manliness: 7/10 (What's more manly than milk?)

Thursday, April 26, 2012

"Don't Go" to Mifflin and "Don't Buy" Aeroshots Presented by Fat Chicks

Podcast 23: "Don't Go" to Mifflin and "Don't Buy" Aeroshots

What: AEROSHOT Energy (Breathable Foods)
How much: $2.99 per
What kind: (Apparently NOT breathable) Caffeine
Taste: Like getting roofied by a lime
Repeat Suckability: 2/10 (Only Jenna Jameson could get all the caffeine out of one of these Aeroshots)
Manliness: 0/10 (Like giving a blow job while wearing a pink feather boa)

If you want to see the "Don't Go" video click here:

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Sponsor: Dat Pao

Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod, we got more PAO, you guys. This is, lyke, the best day EVAR!!

Podcast 22: Dat Pao

What: Farmers' Cooperative Banzhang '03 Shen (Verdant Tea)
How much: $10.00-13.50/oz
What kind: Pu Erh
Taste: A cross between leather and Darjeeling.
Repeat Drinkability: 2/10 (Cause, pu erh)
Manliness: 5/10 (Because cowboys would probably like it)

What: Wuyi Mountain Big Red Robe (Verdant Tea)
How much: $6.95-9.25/oz
What kind: Oolong
Taste: Have you ever tasted sweet baby /t/sus' tears?  It's like that only you can get more steeps out of it.
Repeat Drinkability: 10/10 (We have reached enlightenment)
Manliness: 9/10 (Picture Bill Shatner and Burt Reynolds as action heros / auto mechanics)

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Sponsor: Verdant Knows Demon Magic

Verdant Tea decided to unknowingly sponsor a post about Duke hooking up with a successful gold-digger.  We can respect Minnesota again!

Podcast 21:

What: Autumn Harvest Laoshan Black (Verdant Tea)
How much: $6.38-8.50/oz
What kind:  Black
Taste:  It's PAO with equal rights.
Repeat Drinkability: 10/10  (As prophets of the PAO, we must also appreciate the *slightly* lesser gods. So sayeth the PAO, so drinketh the /t/.)
Manliness: 10/10  (Look at your Old Spice guy, now back at the /t/... sadly, your Old Spice guy won't taste as fucking delicious as this /t/.  But, he's probably as smooth as this.)

(Tea_Pain needs to start using skin cream.)

What: Xingyang Nuggets 2008 Shu (Verdant Tea)
How much: $5.60-7.50/oz
What kind:  Pu erh

Taste:  Oatmeal in a manilla folder

Repeat Drinkability: 3/10  (Infinity steeps...very meh flavor. It'll also get you detained in an airport for looking like weed.)

Manliness: 3/10  (Smelled faintly of Ariel's fin. I may or may not have enjoyed this.)

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Celebrate Teaday

Podcast 20: AFD

What: Never Give Up (Rick's Tea)
How much: got this fo free
What kind: Red
Taste: Like a relationship
Repeat Drinkability: Depends on some things
Manliness: Decide for yourself

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

That's a French Ass Tea Yvonne

You know what to do.

Podcast 19: That's A French Ass Tea

(Tea_Pain needs to add pics)

What: Rooibos (Twinings)
How much: Too much
What kind: Red
Taste: Like Carrot Top's breast milk
Repeat Drinkability: 2 (Breast Milk)
Manliness: 3 (Carrot Top)

What: Peach Rooibos (Yogi)
How much: Too much
What kind: Red
Taste: Peachez n creamz nahmeans
Repeat Drinkability: 6 (The taste delay is like waiting for new George RR Martin books to come out)
Manliness: 3 (Less manly than Sporty Spice)

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Duke Tastes The Luck O The Irish And Keemun

Lotta BS in this one. Skip ahead if you have no sense of humor.

Podcast 18: Duke Tastes The Luck O The Irish And Keemun

What: Keemun Hao Ya (Co-op? Generic?)
How much: $2.40 / oz or something like that
What kind: Black Tea
Taste: Like a tea flavored warhead
Repeat Drinkability: 7.5/10 (akin to an above average black tea with CAFFEINE)
Manliness: 8/10 (like getting a black eye)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Give A Girl A Cookie And She'll Want A Throat Coat on S&BJ Day

Happy Steak and BJ Day!

Podcast 17: Give A Girl A Throat Coat on S&BJ Day

Tea_Pain put in pictures!

What: Throat Coat
How much: $.343 per bag
What kind: Herbal
Taste: Like death by licorice
Repeat Drinkability: 3/10 (Have you ever licked the hoof of a horse?)
Manliness: 0/10 (This is where babies come from)

Friday, March 9, 2012

Shh... Green Team

Podcast 16: First Matcha Sponsor and Tea_Pain does the Matcha Challenge

What: Top Leaf Green (Mellow Monk)
How much: $14.95 per 100-gram packet
What kind: Green Tea
Taste: A full meal for an extremely mixed-race family. Potato soup and watermelon for all!
Repeat Drinkability: 7/10  (Enough steeps for a green tea and there's a different taste to each steep. Goes from savory to sweet... like my victory over Tea_Pain in the chugging contest.)
Manliness: 8/10  (Because, Godzilla.)

What: Mountain Snow Matcha (Mellow Monk)
How much: $16.95 per 95-gram packet
What kind: Green Tea - Matcha
Taste: Like "Top Leaf", but only slightly chalky.
Repeat Drinkability: 4/10 (Convenient but only one steep. Think Crystal Light but with actual tea.)
Manliness: 9/10 (The Hot Pocket of tea)