Monday, December 27, 2010

/t/hat's Amore

I'm white. I'm suburban. I must make a pilgrimage to Olive Garden. I feel that whenever I go into this establishment that it's slowly going the way of Pizza Hut and Applebee's- 500 pound behemoths ordering 4 dishes off the diet menu. I had stepped onto the set of Wall-E 2: Diabetic Boogaloo.

So the waitress came and took my drink order. Of course, I get the Peach Bellini tea. Pinky. Up. Bitches.

My reason? Exhibit A- Oh hey, this looks enjoyable and refreshing.

Let's be clear: when I order /t/ea, I want /t/ea; when I order sugar heroin, well, you get it. I'm more of a purist when it comes to taste, too much sugar and I'll dump it. So when I sipped this "tea" that was put in front of me, I was surprised. It tasted like tea. It looked like tea. It had some caffeine. It even has a friggen FROZEN PEACH in the glass instead of a lemon. These heathens, they spoil me!

As much as I wanted to believe what I was drinking was a glass of iced awesomeness, this being Olive Garden, I have many doubts. As far as I know, this tea was probably produced from a powder (a cardinal sin in my book). It had enough sugar to bake a cake, which is also bad. But the drink was somehow peach flavored, and I'm partial to it.

Overall, this was decent for restaurant tea. Though it was VERY artificially flavored, it was still enjoyable. I feel it falls in the gray area of what determines a tea. Does having the flavor, kick and look of tea make a drink a tea? I could see myself sitting in Olive Garden on a warm summer day watching the cattle graze on chicken marsala and three cheese ravioli while riding their electric wheelchairs. I just wouldn't do it often or else I'd become one of them. *Shudder*

What: Peach Bellini Iced Tea (Olive Garden)
How much: $3- all you can drink
What kind: Black- flavored, powdered(?)
Taste: Peach ring candy blended up and thrown in a vat of sweet tea. Sugar sugar sugar.
Repeat Drinkability: 9/10
Manliness: 5/10 (men LOVE getting diabetes)

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