Friday, December 24, 2010

Boring Tea is Boring

I awoke from yet another dream featuring Lindsay Lohan and Tina Fey to find myself still un-satiated. I go downstairs to the place I keep all my chips, steaks, and potatoes and found a tin with a bear on it. I thought, Simply there must be BEAR TEA in here. And let's be honest, when you're a man just getting finished with a Mean Girls dream, you need to MAN THE FUCK UP, so bear tea it was.

I feel the brand name (Celestial Seasonings) works ironically well for this tea. You could drink this as tea... or you could use it to lightly season bacon to create a good bedtime snack. Overall, the tea tasted more like minty spit, pretty weak for an herbal. I considered taking another bag out of the tin, but the bear was sleeping, and I'll be damned if I force that bear out of the same dream I just had. If I added honey to this, it would be honey water. Though good, it still isn't tea. But the longer this bag steeped in my mug, the more the mint came out. Amazon says this is a chamomile tea. They are lying.

I'd say I could drink this upwards of once a month. There would have to be nothing but Diet Rite and milk in my house for this to happen (I hate both, just being clear). There are so many teas that are better than this, even Brisk. Celestial Seasonings makes a solid majority of their money off herbal teas. Either they make all of their "teas" with a slight hint of flavor or they make them taste so boring that you want to fall asleep afterward.

Oh... I see what you did there.

What: Sleepytime Herb Tea (Celestial Seasonings) and/or Bear Tea
How much: $0.10 a bag on Amazon
What kind: Herbal - Chamomile/Mint
Taste: Watered-down Throat Coat with a Double-Mint gum finish
Repeat Drinkability: 3/10
Manliness: 4/10 (you're lucky there's a bear on the front of this)

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