Monday, January 17, 2011

/T/rifecta Complete

Tea_Pain: We headed over to Macha and discovered the place was packed; I don't think that's ever actually happened before. After realizing that deciding on one tea from the menu of 30-some /t/eas was going to be troublesome, I took advice from a chalkboard proclaiming “SPECIAL” and ordered the Bolivian Whole Leaf Tea. 
DukeOEarl: Bolivian Whole Leaf Tea. Bolivia...Bolivia...isn't that the city where they invented cocaine?
Tea_Pain: No, I believe Bolivia is actually where the song “Who Let The Dogs Out?” originated. Rather, cocaine was invented in the richer segments of Los Angeles to combat weight gain. It's doing alright so far.
DukeOEarl: Tea_Pain told me about his break over in Antarctica or Wisconsin or whatever. Apparently he wasn't teaching young children how to marry Taylor Swift, which is good since I will be doing that soon. Instead, he was admiring my pudding fart movies, and drinking girly tea. Not a bad break I guess. I mean it could be worse, like he could've taken stock tips from 50 Cent or been Lindsay Lohan in rehab. Plus talk of pudding farts scared away this annoying pseudo-couple that was sitting next to us talking about which friends they liked more. Shoot me in the face. In the faaaaaace.

Tea_Pain: "Admiring" is a weak word, but I digress... After a couple minutes of some hardcore brewing action, I took a swig of this black /t/. I'll just throw this out there now... this is tits. The whole tea had a honey feel: taste, look, smell. Effing amazing. I want to live in Bolivia so that I may grow thousands of honey trees and drink their nectar. It was so good we each got 3 pots of it. Sad day though, it looks like this tea is seasonal.
DukeOEarl: Tea_Pain's assessment that the /t/ tasted like honey is fair. To be honest, my nose is so clogged right now that I wouldn't smell the manure-filled cow barn thing on campus if I was standing in the manure. I could ice a cake with the amount of mucus that I produce in one hour. My sense of taste is skewed too, but I could taste that this /t/ was delicious. Its flavor was light and sweet, and the liquor was a little lighter than a typical black tea. And by god there were no pomegranates in it. We drank three pots each before channeling our inner Michael J. Fox. That was a serious amount of fluid and caffeine. Justin, fresh pot?
P.S. - On a sad note, Hockey Muhammad, Sidney Crosby, is injured. :'(

Tea_Pain: Though it is sad that the holiest of the holy was injured after falling on the ice, we did get some words in for a decent conversation. Hell, I found out I should have bought BP stock after that oil spill (I could've bought out Lipton with all the money I would have made). And to conclude, I'm actually still shaking. This /t/ was so good it gave me several post-orgasmic tremors. More in the summary.

What: Bolivian Full Leaf (Macha Teahouse)
Quote from Macha: Bolivian Black- A strip style whole leaf from La Paz region near the Andes. The cool climate and high altitude along with the unique cultivar give this tea an amazing sweet ,malty and earthy taste. A great addition to your personal stash.
tl;dr= Latin tea that tastes like honey. Ol
How much: $3/pot
What kind: Black – Full Leaf
Taste: It's like Jesus looked down upon our earth and cried warm tears of joy into a small drinking vessel and then bellowed “FREE REFILLS FOR ALLLLLL!” It's like a subtle black tea but with the taste of hope, rain, and honey.
Repeat Drinkability: 10/10. I'mma be serious here when I say that neither of us can normally finish more than two pots at Macha. Even after the third, we were still loving it (until we noticed the shaking).
Manliness: 7/10. The only way this could be manlier is if you knocked down a wasp nest to flavor the tea. Shirtless. With a baseball bat and small explosives.

No comments:

Post a Comment