Thursday, January 6, 2011

Sleepless in Seat/t/le

OMG why didn’t you to the /t/ to the first t in Seattle.  STFU /t/ n00b.  The Duke does whatever he wan/t/s.

So recently I arrived in Seattle for business (yes that kind of business).  I’m not tea bragging.  I’m just sayin’.  Seattle should be known as the city of hipsters and other ugly people.  They were everywhere.  

Exhibit A:  

Exhibit B:  

I can normally stand hipsters, but when your city is 50% hipsters and the other 50% is just ugly people (not to say hipsters are hot because they’re usually not), you should prolly just nuke i/t/ and start over. Anyway, my Seattle ladyfriend and I decided to drink tea because a) /t/ is fucking awesome, b) /t/ is fucking awesome, and c) /t/ is fucking awesome.

We went to a /t/house close to the University of Washington called Teahouse Kuan Yin.  It is a cool little establishment with a multitude of different teas.  She likes girly teas with more lemongrass than a potpourri store.  The only black tea that I could get her to try was Earl Grey.  Mmmm fuck yeah, my favorite.  Kuan Yin had a “house blend” Earl Grey that smelled fantastic, so we got that.  They delivered the tea in typical teahouse fashion, with a pot for steeping, a pot to pour after steeping, and two little cups.  I’ll be god damned if it wasn’t some of the best Earl Grey that I’ve ever had.  The wonderful scent of bergamot was rather overwhelming, but the tea flavor was exquisite nonetheless.  We basically chugged the first pot down without any sweetener, although honey would’ve made this tea so orgasmic that sex later that day would only last like two minutes instead of my usual three.  The whole while we were discussing shitty high school teachers, the newest Star Wars movies, how much hipsters suck, and how to tell that your daughter is a sl00t.

“Duke why did you say “sleepless” in the ti/t/le?”

What: Earl Grey (Teahouse Kuan Yin house blend)
How much: $3.95 per pot, also priced per oz
What kind: Black - bergamot infused
Taste: Fuckin' bergamot oil up in this bitch; smooth like Keith Stone
Repeat Drinkability: 8/10
Manliness: 7.5/10 (minus point for not dripping bergamot oil like seagulls in the Gulf of Mexico)


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