Monday, January 3, 2011

It's a /t/rap

After a brief hiatus highlighted by cheap champagne, Robot Unicorn Attack, and not caring that Snooki is the bane of all human existence, I decided to sober up. I opened up my new FRENCH PRESS and went to town on some Rishi.

Now, I feel there is a faux hierarchy to tea brands that I have to address. There are the specialty tea websites that market their own stuff... some of it might even be worthy of our taste tests *hint*. Next might come the more available brands such as this Rishi blend and The Republic of Tea offerings, yet still more expensive per ounce than gasoline will be in 20 years. And then there is a gradual decline in overall quality as we get into the bagged brands such as Tazo, Twinings (though still a favorite of DukeOEarl), and Lipton. So essentially, we get to review an upper-middle here. My migraine and I are ok with this. My wallet and college-sized budget, however, are rightfully sketched the fuck out.

(30 seconds in, this doesn't *look* like a green tea...)

The tea looks more like a light black than a citrus-y green. The cup smelled more like Pine Sol than Tang. But the taste was pretty awesome. The best part about this tea has to be its stance on making any type of sweetener unnecessary. Hell, if I put honey in this, I'd have to dilute the whole brew. I can only think of a couple teas that can make you think there's enough direct flavor to go around and this is probably one of the cheapest blends.

This is a solid tea but the maker's kind of missed the mark, in my opinion. It's like the developers had two targets on a wall, threw the dart, and instead of getting their desired product (an orange, fruity, green tea) they hit a different bullseye and got another seemingly decent tea (lemon, tart, black/green hybrid). If I wanted to be a complete /t/roll, I'd say this shit didn't live up to the name of "Organic Orange Blossom Green Tea". But then, I'd realize that I was already counter-trolled by Rishi because they made something I drank two pots worth of in under an hour and ran away with my money.

I feel this tea actually has been the best one I've reviewed so far here. It missed a couple marks because it was more "generic lemon citrus" than orange, more black than green, and more "OW, my wallet" than cheap. If you think all teas should be sweetened, save the $5 you would have spent on a half gallon tub of Splenda and just buy a tin of this. It's actually worth it if you don't plan to drink this every day. Outside of flavor/tea accuracy, the only thing that could make this tea better would be to chill it, put in a little sugar, and wait for summer to come back. Hopefully Al Gore is right and it starts to warm up around here.

What: Organic Orange Blossom (Rishi Teas)
How much: $4.00/ oz on the Rishi website...probably cheaper at wholesale
What kind: Green - "Orange" and/or "Lemon"
Taste: Definitely green tea, finishes with of a lemon tang
Repeat Drinkability: 7/10
Manliness: 7/10 (bonus points for being looseleaf and tasting like Miami would if all the Jersey Shore rejects left)

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