Monday, May 16, 2011

Riskopoly: Sponsored by Element Tea

Recently, we received a large sampling of /t/ from Element Tea. We also recently finished finals week.  So, in order to say "fuck the establishment" and make full use of a metric shit-ton of /t/, we decided to dedicate an entire day to the manliest activity we've ever had the pleasure to experience and share.  If you're thinking a monster truck show at the Super Bowl driven entirely by a team of velociraptors with barbed wire tattoos and Gatling guns standing in for their stubby, useless arms, you're only slightly off.  That's right bitches, we're gonna be playing RISKOPOLY.
What is Riskopoly?  Well, if you're too lazy to look shit up yourself, I can drop some knowledge so you can better understand the game.  Basically, you take a Risk board and a Monopoly board... and combine that shit. Side to side. And then (this will fucking blow your mind), you play both boards simultaneously.


Now, if you're mortal, that might seem pretty scary.  That's like reading Goosebumps at 5 years old-scary. How much ADD does one need in order to play this game? Fucking none. Actually if you have ADD, you will lose the game of balancing economics and all-out warfare.  For, if your nation does not have an economy (see: Monopoly), it cannot run a nation (see: Risk), and vice-versa.  If anything, you need anti-ADD because you want to be so focused on killing your opponent and making money that you essentially turn into pure testosterone.  That's why we're really lucky to have all this new /t/ sitting around waiting to be reviewed.  Apparently /t/ makes you focus.  Duke and I both know this because we couldn't afford adderall and instead drank 8 liters of PAO per day during finals to stay coherent.

So, thanks to Element Tea, you all will be able to enjoy a live-blog this Saturday. That's right. 5-6 players trying to openly fuck over each other. Douchebaggery will be documented on Twitter and every hour or so a /t/ from Element Tea will be reviewed with updates from the game. Many shall die, but at least they'll get some good /t/ out of all the carnage.  Cheers (to screwing over the guy who gets Australia)!

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