Saturday, May 21, 2011

3) Riskopoly and Tea: Kill it with fire, like the rainforest

Tea_Pain: After the freshman was too stupid to resist $1000 for the biggest trade rape of the year, he decided that he would takeover Europe instead of the rest of N.A. for which he had the majority of the countries.  And by takeover Europe, we meant take over Greenland, stopped his onslaught, and was promptly slaughtered in N.A. by Brosef #1 who had the rest of N.A..  With all his troops on loosely spanning Asia and Europe, the freshman will probably be killed, spreading mass death and destruction across the icy tundra other than that which was caused by the installation of oil pipelines or melting glaciers.  Someone should call his mommy again and tell her about his boo-boo.

DukeOEarl:  Hmm...Arctic Fire.  Sounds more epic than Lapsang Souchong, in a Greenland-Iceland massacre sort of way.  Like the bitch camping on Greenland is about to get pwn3d by the twenty armies on England.  This also makes me wonder if this /t/ would be better than roasted moose meat on a man-made bonfire on an ICEBURG.

Tea_Pain: We brought out the Arctic Fire /t/ just for this occasion. It also helps that Arctic Fire is probably one of the manliest-named /t/s we've ever brewed.  I mean, think about it, what do you associate with the Arctic?  That's right, Eskimos.  And what do Eskimos do?  They hunt fucking whales with sharp sticks.  Tell me how this isn't manly.  They go up to a whale's blowhole and are all like "Sup whale. We're gonna, like, kill you now. K?"  And the whale is all, "Lolwut? Come at me bro."  So the Eskimos, now pissed off that the whale would insult their request, just destroy the ever-loving shit out of the whale and burn him for fuel.  I submit that for recognition in the Manliness Hall of Fame.

DukeOEarl:  When we steeped the /t/, it smelled immediately like dinner mints.  The red and white kind.  It smelled the same before steeping too, but there was also something off about the taste.  Eventually we pinpointed it.  It smells and tastes like menthols.  You know, Newport's.  Those candy-like cigarettes that tobacco companies sell directly to children by using adults in their ad campaigns.  Or I guess like the menthol lozenges that people buy when their sick but that no one likes.

Tea_Pain:  Arctic Fire sorta tastes We see what you did there, Element Tea. /T/ception. Clever.  Duke and I decided a 2nd steep was necessary.  Though it probably wouldn't survive a 3rd, the /t/ definitely has a shot at being drinkable for that 2nd steep. The mint comes out with a little less bite, making it way easier to drink.

What: Arctic Fire  (Element Tea)
How much: $2.50/oz
What kind: Black - Mint (even though there isn't any in the ingredients)
Taste: Like you smoked a whole pack of menthols and went seal clubbing.
Repeat Drinkability: 4/10  (Al Gore drank this and created the term "global warming")
Manliness: 7.5/10  (If you save the whales, the hippies win)

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