Saturday, May 21, 2011

2) Riskopoly and Tea: Deez Coconuts

DukeOEarl:  So Tea_Pain started out by taking the rest of South America, and I started by taking the rest of Australia.  We formed an underground alliance by texting each other (as is common practice in Riskopoly).  A young, naive freshman (see: Riskopoly n00b a.k.a. blue) who the guys are trying to school on all things manly got stuck with half of Europe and Asia.  I, being the selfless champion that I am, decided to teach the freshman the hard way by trading $1000 for a monopoly property that gave me the second worst monopoly on the board (see: trade rape).  But since money is money, the monopoly will end up paying dividends and the other guys will probably kill the freshman for how dumb he is.  Pain's laughter and smart-ass insults caused the freshman to quickly phone his mommy and therapist.

DukeOEarl:  To celebrate our pro-aggression pact, Tea_Pain and I brewed up some White Coconut Creme /t/.  I smelled it and it was like someone coconut creme'd in my nose.

Dear Picasa, you suck all the dicks.

Tea_Pain:  I felt like I was applying suntan lotion to my insides rather than drinking /t/.

DukeOEarl:  Jeez, after steeping the /t/ was incredibly dusty and opaque.  Like when your drink a ton of coffee and milk, and your kidneys are like FUCK YOU, DRINK SOME TEA OR SOMETHING cause your piss looks like creamy orange juice.   Actually you know what?  I bet this is what the drain water looks like after they clean out the back room of the porn store.

Tea_Pain:  You know, for trying to scare off the weak with its scent, the taste wasn't too bad.  The coconut actually comes out without being overbearing.  I'm actually pretty impressed with this.

DukeOEarl:  Yeah, Pain, I'll be damned if this isn't half decent.  I could see a lot of bitches liking this. Very smooth, though cloudy.  It's actually creamy from coconut and the second steep isn't bad.  It probably won't go more than two steeps, but generally bitches don't care about additional steeps.

What: White Coconut Creme  (Element Tea)
How much: $6/oz
What kind: White - Coconut
Taste: Like a Boston cream pie
Repeat Drinkability: 6/10  (The price tag might be too high if you don't like coconut, but this is a good /t/ once you get past the first whiff)
Manliness: 2.5  (Coconuts are meant only for girly drinks and hula dancer bras.)

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