Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Dart girl gets baptized

Took the woman out for /t/ yesterday. You know, trying to keep things "adventurous" and what not (and she had a gift certificate for Dobra that was expiring soon).  So, seeing that life has reaped hours upon hours of free time upon me recently, I decided a /t/ date would fit in well here.

As Dart girl looked at the menu, probably wondering about which /t/ had pomegranate in it, I sat contently.  You know, there are many strange and unanswered happenings in life.  I mean, a 4-some with 3 girls, that's pretty unique. Or, for another example, the Cleveland Cavaliers ever being good at basketball again.  Neither of those, though, can usurp the power that is experiencing  THE PAO.  I ordered that shit as if it were my last beverage, because that's the way it should fucking be.  Noticing I had missed it, Dart girl ordered the honey... I shed a single tear of joy.
Now, when it comes to /t/ reviewing, especially in terms of manliness, it always struck me as if there are 3 categories: those who were taught, those who were ordained, and those who drink Lipton.  I bring this up because I wanted to see the difference between someone who does reviews (say, through personality #2) and someone who drinks /t/ randomly for no reason other than taste and caffeine. I asked Dart girl to explain to me the smells, the flavors, the enlightenment that is THE PAO.  Rather than note the distinct blend of cedar wood, malt, honey and nuts- she said, "It tastes like tea".  I am disappoint, Dart girl.

But all hope was not lost!  I spotted a second /t/ we could drink: "NEPAL Ilam SFTGFOP".  It looked like a decent black /t/ to try and, well, we hadn't used up all of the certificate by then.  Now, to be completely honest, this /t/ was anything but great.  It was your run-of-the-mill black /t/ but with less bitterness, less texture, and even with so little sweetness it couldn't be saved with honey.  Again, the meh factor strikes!  I ask Dart girl what made this /t/ unique.  Her eyes lit up as if THE PAO had finally kicked in.  She realized there wasn't flavor.  She actually compared it to THE PAO.  This is probably like watching your son getting ejected from a tee-ball game.  I was so proud.

As the caffeine kicked in, Dart girl realized what I had done.  To the casual drinker, you may say I have destroyed her.  Dart girl will forever be forced to antagonize over each and every cup of /t/, searching for the cup that she rules all others by.  Though she was not given the light at birth like Duke and I, she was able to understandeth the scripture of THE PAO and accept its manliness as the word.


  1. Yeah, I like this.

    Any tale of initiation, whatever the outcome, is my kind of tale.