Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Bieber Lost

Now can we effing forget about him and move on to the next 12 year old? May I suggest a resurgence for Dakota Fanning? Victoria Justice has only 4 more days til she Lohan's! Cmon people, there are far more pressing issues and child prodigies to socially screw up. Think it over while Duke & I study for exams this week.

Quandary. Now why would someone want a white /t/? "I like the delicate flavors." Of what? "I want caffeine...but I don't want too much." Man up. "White power!" This shit's from China, Jim Bob, put your hand down. "I don't want to piss blood again." Well me neither, bro-seph. On any other blog, these might be valid reasons for a white /t/ to be reviewed. I on the other hand chose this shit because of PEACHES. I'm already a big fan of peaches. Be it candy, soda, asses, /t/, I'm a connoisseur. I can safely say that if I lived in Georgia, I would gorge myself while blasting some 15 year old hipster music. In a blind taste test, I could even tell you if something tasted like a peach. I'm that fucking good.

I've had some of Rishi's Peach Blossom White /T/ in my cupboard for awhile and never got around to reviewing it. As luck would have it, I had exactly enough to make a final steep for ya'll. Think of this as a post-Valentine's Day way of saying you're not "forever alone". This stuff smells like those peach candy rings if they came concentrated in a Febreeze bottle. Pretty strong, but not enough to make you gag like it's your first time, ladies. Because this is a white /t/, I decided to let my water cool down a little after boiling so the /t/ wouldn't burn. The smell became a lot more floral as I waited for it to steep and the brew got surprisingly yellow-ish-brown. Dare I say it? I dart. It looked like peach juice. Sweet heavenly nectar, don't disappoint me.

My first swig was actually pretty refreshing. The taste of the peaches is pronounced, yet weak. I'd say this /t/ is similar to going to see the Foo Fighters: you really go to see Dave Grohl but end up idolizing the rest of the band for making him awesome. Among the other flavor notes, I picked up some weak lemongrass and the usual floral flavoring that is jasmine. After drinking a whole pot, my tongue started to go numb like the time Duke and I got that Darjeeling from Dobra. This /t/ would probably be destroyed if it were iced or if any sweetener was added. I also wouldn't suggest going past 2 steeps as the /t/ might start disintegrating. It'd taste good, but your /t/ would be more akin to a smoothie. Still, this is a pretty solid flavor profile for a "delicate" white /t/, definitely something you could share with a lady friend before watching some Top Gun. And if you're manly enough to withstand its frui/t/ness, this is also very chugable. Speaking of which, rather than icing your bro's at random Guido bars, why not take em to a nice /t/ shop and force this on them. Maybe it'll stop them from fist pumping to they who shall not be named.

What: Peach Blossom White Tea (Rishi)
How much: $4/oz on Rishi
What kind: White - Peach
Taste: Watered-down, sugar-free peach juice
Repeat Drinkability: 6/10 (The taste makes this about as repeatable as, well, Peaches)
Manliness: 1/10 (Flowers? Peaches? White /t/? Lol, srsly?)


  1. The Presidents of the United States are hipster music? oh please

  2. Yeah, they totally aren't mainstream anymore. I heard they broke up for the fun of it. They used to be a really big deal in Nebraska back before you all heard of them.