Recently, my future wife, January Jones, asked me, "Duke why don't you guys include a 'how-to' section on The Blag where you explain your steeping methods? Also what color corset should I wear for you?" To which I answered, "Cause men don't follow the instructions. We figure shit out for ourselves. Also red." Remember that, men, when you're steeping your /t/ea. Figure that shit out. No instructions.
Today, I acquired some Golden Yunnan /t/ea from Rishi. It was recommended by one of our Twitter followers who said, "Shit's gold, yo." Indeed. It probably received its name from all the gold that it absorbs from the ground in the Yunnan province of the People's Republic of China. That shit's everywhere around there, like cheap labor.
After steeping, the /t/ smelled similar to the Dragon Ball /T/ (also from the Yunnan province in the People's Democratic Communist Republic of Tending-Towards-Capitalism China). This was foreboding, as the taste profile was very similar. I imagine the whole Yunnan province tastes like this kind of /t/. The container claims that the flavor is "caramelly" and "robust." While these claims are not correct, they are certainly close to correct. It's like being the runner up on Jeopardy. You almost got it right, but then you got pwn3d by the Overlord Computer. The flavors were reminiscent of a brown ale or molasses, perhaps even chocolate. The malty flavor reminded me of Germany during Oktoberfest. Specifically the girls serving beer.
In the end, this /t/ was like the runt twin brother of the Dragon Ball /T/. It was very similar in taste and almost as tasty. But that's just an almost. This /t/ came in second place to the more muscular and more dashing Dragon Ball /T/. Golden Yunnan is the Ben Affleck to the Dragon Ball /T/ Matt Damon.
What: Golden Yunnan (Rishi)
How much: $4.00 per oz
What kind: Black
Taste: Like Ben Affleck
Repeat Drinkability: 7/10 (Still a staple /t/, mucho caffeine)
Manliness: 8/10 (Ben Affleck is still married to Jen Garner)