Sunday, April 24, 2011

/T/ea and Alcohol: The Used Car Smell

DukeOEarl:  Regaled with the Legend of Lapsang, we decided to include a L'Chong (a.k.a. Lapsang Souchong for our non-French readers) in our night of alcohol and tea.  This drink deserved its own post.  Do not try this at home.  For reals.

"Used Car Smell" - Ingredients:
  • 1 part Gin
  • 2 parts Lapsang Souchong
  • 1 freedom fry
  • 1 penny
  • cigarette butts to garnish

DukeOEarl: So since you can't see the penny from the picture above, here is another:
Before we took a sip, Tea_Pain crossed himself.  I wish I had a picture of the face he made when he tried it.  Words don't do it justice.  Here is an excerpt:

Tea_Pain:  That tea is worse than genocide.  I need Peach Schnapps to make it better!  The Lapsang burns your mouth more than the gin!

DukeOEarl:  This /t/ is to my tongue what 1915 was for Armenians.

Tea_Pain:  My taste buds were marched through the desert with no food.  This is the Bataan Death March of /T/.

DukeOEarl:  This tea proves that the Holocaust happened; it's like Nazi Germany in my mouth.

Tea_Pain:  This /t/ea is like Nagasaki in 1946.

DukeOEarl:  This tea should be hung at Nuremberg.

Tea_Pain:  If my taste buds are the Lakota, this /t/ea is Wounded Knee.

DukeOEarl:  Pol Pot would enjoy this /t/.

Tea_Pain:   This /t/ was Anne Frank's saboteur.

DukeOEarl:  This /t/ is like the vice of a Dostoevsky protagonist.

Tea_Pain:  Wasn't this /t/ what Uncle Tom's Cabin was about?

DukeOEarl:  I can't believe Howard Zinn forgot to write about this shit.  It would've saved us a lot of pain.  And suffering.

Tea_Pain:  Someone give me Peach Schnapps and kill me so that I never have to taste this again.

What: "Used Car Smell"
Taste: the Ford Pinto of tea
Repeat Drinkability: -infinity (Someone divided by zero)
Manliness: ??? (I don't even...)


  1. This was my morning laughter. What on earth possessed you to add a penny to the proceedings?! Excellent post.

  2. There's always a penny beneath the floor mat.