Sunday, April 17, 2011

/T/ea and How to Please Your Woman Part 2: The French /T/ickler

Tea_Pain:  We got a shit-load of tea in the mail from a Steepster /t/ swap. This was our reaction.  On top of the /t/, we've noticed a strong following coming from France the past couple weeks.  This was our reaction. To further progress with the romanticism and appeal to our, how do you say, Le French crowd, we figured we'd tackle the Strawberry Tingle rooibos.  We already started her up with the rose /t/, now we have to rev her for a few minutes with the tingle.  So if she doesn't attack your lower half like a Shop-Vac in heat, you're doing it wrong.  On it's own, the /t/ smells like ground up strawberry Runts except slightly more chemical and acidic.  The smell led to Duke and I to reminisce about organic chemistry labs and the noxious fumes that destroyed our noses so long ago.  We almost miss it.
DukeOEarl:  Holy shit, it smells like the 'tussin.  Tea_Pain, I think we found something else to mix with vodka.

Tea_Pain:  This tastes like strawberry preserves, but there's some weird overly chemical aftertaste on the tongue.  Yup, this is definitely laced with 'tussin.  Sadly, "brown drank" doesn't have the same ring to it as other favorites like purple and blue. So I guess my nose wasn't lying to me pre-steep when it told me something was off.  I couldn't finish my mug as the taste was overly sweet and what I can attribute as "cute".  Thankfully the /t/ couldn't be re-steeped and I was spared from the taste of watery jelly for the rest of the day.

DukeOEarl:  It tastes like the 'tussin too!  Jackpot.  This /t/ is going to vodka town.  Speaking of vodka town, I once took a beautiful Russian girl on a date to a strawberry patch.  When we stepped out onto the patch and smelled the overwhelming strawberry aroma, she got hotter than Chernobyl during the meltdown.  The whole time we were picking strawberries, she was giddy and giggly (see: 14 yr old girl watching Twilight).  By the time we were done picking strawberries she was like...well let me put it this way: she was like the Volga.  Lesson learned here: bitches love strawberries.

Tea_Pain:  Step 1: put some flowers on dat bitch.  Step 2: throw some strawberries on that ride til she looks like Strawberry Shortcake.  Step 3: ???

What: Strawberry Tingle (English Tea Store)
How much: $1.02 per oz
What kind: Rooibos - Strawberry
Taste: Over-ripened strawberries forced through a shower of Robitussin.
Repeat Drinkability: 3/10 (fake strawberries and no second steep makes /T/sus a sad messiah)
Manliness: 3.5/10 (Like we've said before, fruit is only manly when used for the advancement in the sexual arts)

Read Part 1 here.
Read Part 3 here.