So we sometimes review /t/, in between ladyfriends, drinking beer, and skipping class to get more beer. Because our schedules are so packed with those things, we gotta sneak in /t/ when we can. Therefore, drinking some /t/ for The /T/ea Blag when searing the shit out of some former cow's ass just makes sense.
Anyway, I'm grillin' steaks with some buddies, Tea_Pain not included (guess why? that's right, Dart Girl), using my favorite grill rub, when the Fujian Baroque /t/ finishes steeping. Perfect timing. Like the one time Tea_Pain and I high-fived while going off a ski jump (in the air). Needless to say, I postponed the steak for a few minutes to adequately analyze the /t/.
At first, it smelled a bit like tree bark. More tree than bark though in the end. The initial taste was dry and bitter, like steaks if you let a woman use your grill, god forbid. Over time, the flavor mellowed with some chocolaty notes, like the Dragon Ball /T/. Unfortunately, Fujian Baroque was fucking broke and couldn't afford to buy more flavor. The meh-ness was rather overwhelming, like the second time you kiss a girl cause you know what you really want (it ain't kissing). The lack of substantial flavor was so astounding to me that I double-checked my tongue my ravaging it with the most delicious steak in the world. My tongue still worked. Fujian Baroque didn't. How did this get an 86% on Adagio?
(blends in with wood)
What: Fujian Baroque (Adagio)
How much: ~$5 per oz (Adagio was out of stock at the time of this review)
What kind: Black
Taste: Like generic chocolate from the dollar store
Repeat Drinkability: 5/10 (If you remember what this tastes like, send me your email address, and I'll send you a steak in the mail)
Manliness: 5/10 (Fucking wood colored)