Can't Afford Beer Cause I'm Fujian Baroque

Since it is no longer below freezing temperatures in Wisconsin, grilling season has started.  What better way is there to celebrate the best season of the year (i.e. Stanley Cup Playoff season) than with a massive hunk of bloody flesh and a twelve pack of Guinness?  I certainly can't think of a better way.  Oh wait...you know, some tea might go well with my 24 oz porterhouse of dinosaur meat...

So we sometimes review /t/, in between ladyfriends, drinking beer, and skipping class to get more beer.  Because our schedules are so packed with those things, we gotta sneak in /t/ when we can.  Therefore, drinking some /t/ for The /T/ea Blag when searing the shit out of some former cow's ass just makes sense.

Anyway, I'm grillin' steaks with some buddies, Tea_Pain not included (guess why? that's right, Dart Girl), using my favorite grill rub, when the Fujian Baroque /t/ finishes steeping.  Perfect timing.  Like the one time Tea_Pain and I high-fived while going off a ski jump (in the air).  Needless to say, I postponed the steak for a few minutes to adequately analyze the /t/.

At first, it smelled a bit like tree bark.  More tree than bark though in the end.  The initial taste was dry and bitter, like steaks if you let a woman use your grill, god forbid.  Over time, the flavor mellowed with some chocolaty notes, like the Dragon Ball /T/.  Unfortunately, Fujian Baroque was fucking broke and couldn't afford to buy more flavor.  The meh-ness was rather overwhelming, like the second time you kiss a girl cause you know what you really want (it ain't kissing).  The lack of substantial flavor was so astounding to me that I double-checked my tongue my ravaging it with the most delicious steak in the world.  My tongue still worked.  Fujian Baroque didn't.  How did this get an 86% on Adagio?

 (blends in with wood)

What: Fujian Baroque (Adagio)
How much: ~$5 per oz (Adagio was out of stock at the time of this review)
What kind: Black
Taste: Like generic chocolate from the dollar store
Repeat Drinkability: 5/10 (If you remember what this tastes like, send me your email address, and I'll send you a steak in the mail)
Manliness: 5/10 (Fucking wood colored)