Wednesday, June 22, 2011

SPONSOR: Smack my peach up

Who was the first guy to put peaches in his /t/ and say "Fuckin A, Jeffrey, this tastes marginally better than when I didn't have peaches in it!"?  The same goes for ginger and apricots.  Who stuck a piece of fruit/root in their /t/ and thought it magically tasted better?  I can see lemons, but dryer fruits like the ones I threw out there just...don't jump out at me.  Maybe these people all came together one morning and collectively said "Fuck gin pong, I'm never playing that again. What could I throw in here to make black /t/ taste less like coffee?"  And, in a bit of drunken clairvoyance, they made a /t/-version of Wop and dranketh from their goblets.  I present to you today's version of said concoction:

/T/sus.  I didn't know I was gonna be steeping trail mix.  Those chunks in there? Yeah, those are apricots.  How can I tell? Because those fuckers were the bane of my existence whenever I was trying to get the GOOD pieces (see: M&M's and mango slices) out of trail mix.  There were also some fuzzy-ish solids in the bag, and rather than label those as "mold", I dubbed them as the supposed "peaches".  No real ginger to be seen, but upon opening the bag, I got a big whiff of overly-sugared peaches and, there it is, a slight spiciness.  As pungent as the smell may be, I actually liked it.  It's hard to really discern each individual smell, but I'll just say it smells extremely sweet.

So I brewed this stuff up and it smelled like a bag of gummi peach rings mixed with collard greens.  Though thrown off by the combination, I knocked back a few swigs and, well, the flavor profile is pretty complex.  This /t/ reminds me of the time I went to Starbucks and tried the Tazo Joy.  The flavors came in steps, except they actually taste good in this case.  The /t/ starts off like peach cocktail, gets a little spicy in the middle, and the black tea dries out the throat in the end.  The dryness lets the peach taste come back and hit you a second time if you exhale.  As it cooled, apricot came out more, but was still overpowered by the peach (and even the ginger, as low-profile as it is in this blend).  I also noticed a lot of peach fuzz on the bottom of my mug.  Luckily, I like peaches and don't care if there's a little hair down there from time to time.  Others may like their mugs clean.  To each their own.  Pubes.

Anyway, for those of you who like peaches (and are thus considered only slightly less than equal to me), you'll enjoy this /t/.  It's a little sweet and artificial at times, but like all the other /t/s BTC has given me... it's good.  (I should've asked for a bigger bribe than only getting samples. This is fudiculous.)  For those of you who abhor peaches and wish they never existed/ wanted more ginger or apricot: you're in the wrong place.  Much like a leper colony sponsoring a free Hillary Duff concert, you'll want to stay faaaaaar away unless you really like your /t/ sweet.

What: Ginger Peach & Apricot Black /T/  (Boston Tea Co.)
How much: $2.13/ oz
What kind: Black - Ginger, Peach, Apricot
Taste: Peach cocktail doused with sugar.
Repeat Drinkability:  7.5/10  (If you like things naturally VERY sweet and peachy like me, sure, you'll want to drink this again.  But like everybody outside of that description, drinking this won't happen every day.)
Manliness:  3/10  (Trail mix is for hiker bitches and Olympians.)

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