Tuesday, June 21, 2011

SPONSOR: Boston > Michelle Bachmann

Duke called. Probably from a coconut as the reception was shit.  He said he has about a week until he's back from whatever Caribbean excursion he went on (something about voodoo and rainforests or some shit).  He told me how much coffee has been forced upon him by the locals. He actually told me about the times (yes, multiple) he got malaria from being so much of a man (manliness attracts female mosquitos. Yeah, I just accidentally some science all over you).  Luckily, he survived multiple Bar Rafaeli encounters and drank enough rum, thus allowing his man card to remain intact. Be excited. The man is pissed off at the world and this is one of his few outlets.

In the meantime, BTC lucks out as I don't hate life nearly as much as Duke does, and thus, I don't entirely take it out on them.  Though, being halfway through their /t/ samples, I'm a little surprised as to how well they're holding up. Normally we'd find out that half the /t/ tastes like mermaid vagina and have to berate the company into submission.  No dice yet... but I AM reviewing a /t/bag today. And shit, if nothing else, I know they're already the "special" kids on the playground when compared to looseleaf.

The bags came in a canister that looks vintage enough to be considered hipster. Upon opening, I realized I was in the wrong season for drinking this /t/. I smelled nothing but nutmeg/cloves, cinnamon and a helluva lot of orange. The smell and look of the tin made the dust alarm in my brain go "WOO WOO" and I prepared for the worst.  Seeing that no /t/bag will ever touch the gaiwan nor the french press...TO DAS MUG!

So the orange transformed into pumpkin and it looks like apple cider. You know, because that makes entirely more sense than, I dunno, water being wet.  This /t/ is "fall".  Even without tasting it, I consider throwing out the idea that you use the /t/bag in place of mulling spices for apple cider (and rum).  But I was again surprised by the ability of BTC to take something that looked like, and probably wanted to be, shitty /t/ dust and turn it into something worth drinking.  It's a bagged /t/, so I can't be 100% in favor of it without getting points on my own man card, but this one is still pretty well done.  To be frank, it exceeded my expectations for a bagged /t/.  Keep in mind the keyword here is "bagged". Caffeine was meh, but I went 2 steeps with it, which is more than the other BTC /t/bag we reviewed could handle.

Congrats BTC, you're still teetering on the edge of human and just "man", but that's a lot more than other companies can say for themselves.

What: Boston Tea Party  (Boston Tea Company)
How much: $7/ tin of 24 bags
What kind: Black - orange
Taste: Pumpkin pie, except that I like this /t/ more than pumpkin pie...because I don't normally like pumpkin pie.
Repeat Drinkability: 7/10  (Solid flavor...but I'll save it for winter when my body is trying to grow chest hair and wants to drink orange-scented antifreeze)
Manliness: 3/10  (About as spiced up as a Latin lover before he tells his woman he recently turned gay)

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