Tuesday, June 7, 2011

I, for one, welcome our local /t/ overlords.

Ok, Rishi, I get it.  You own Milwaukee.  If you were playing me in Riskopoly right now, I would be begging you for mercy as you clearly control everything but Mediterranean (which is way undervalued, in my opinion).  You also got to colonize the moon and get an extra 10 armies per turn because of that.  I GET IT.  So, rather than fight against you like my anti-establishment, Madisonian instincts are directing me to do, I will give you a shot as my /t/ overlord.  Who knows, I might go back to the mindset that you guys put out good shit on a regular basis.

Recently, Rishi has been talking up their Coconut Oolong as if it's the ugly girl with rich parents putting out dating ads on said daughter's behalf.  It's like they put on the sign stating "HEY, WE'RE RICH! TAKE OUR UGGO OUT FOR WALKS AND YOU CAN HAVE AN XBOX!"  Similar to that situation, ordering this /t/ started out pretty bittersweet.  First of all, I'm not a huge fan of coconut.  Due to it being summer, every drink with ice and a straw has fucking coconut in it, so I'm already agitated. And second, I was being served at a coffee shop, which are generally notorious for bad portions, scalding water, and TEA BAGS.  

It was my. fucking. day.

As you can see from the picture above, that is a plate of /t/.  I ordered a SMALL.  A large probably would have come in a bucket.  The caffeine in my drink probably could have fueled a perpetual motion machine had I chosen to create one in my /t/-induced grandeur.  Energy legs, I haz dem.

The leaves themselves didn't taste or smell like much, but the /t/ itself... surprisingly pleasant.  The reason? The coconut was easily confused for caramel corn and, because of this, complemented the oolong very well.  All I could smell was popcorn.  I wish this was what genmaicha tasted like as then I could enjoy that too.  The /t/ was extremely rich and somewhat thick (probably due to having a whole ounce of /t/ leaves thrown in there).  If you've ever had butter /t/, I'd say this is probably similar in texture.  Also, if you've ever had butter /t/,  you're fucking gross.  The /t/, since I had been given so much of it, probably could have gone another steep with this strong of flavor, but it'd probably last only 1-2 steeps normally.  Still, 1 cup WILL be enough as you'll feel the 'beetus sneaking up on you as you finish the cup.

So ya, no coconut was really there, but there was caramel corn.  The oolong didn't do a whole lot other than add a little bitterness and a honey aftertaste.  Would I drink it again? Yes, but it won't be for awhile.  The richness started getting overbearing near the bottom of the cup and, for the price, Rishi has other /t/s I'd rather try out than buy a tin of the cocoolong.  Pleasant, but I definitely got my fill fairly quickly.

What: Coconut Oolong (Rishi)
How much: $6/ oz
What kind: Oolong - Coconut
Taste:  Caramel corn covered in buttah.
Repeat Drinkability: 5/10  (Drink like a fat kid without becoming a fat kid.)
Manliness: 3/10  (Repeat drinkability keyword: "kid".  A man would need a brandy chaser to make this turn out better.)

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