Thursday, March 31, 2011

No Touchy Dee Mango

So I've had this /t/ in my inventory and it's needed to be reviewed since we began the blag. Due to baseball officially starting back up today, I didn't have a whole lot of time to get up from my 8 fantasy teams and all the live streams of games I had going. To make life easy, I brewed some up.

I'll be clear, Republic of Tea does sell this in both loose and bagged forms. I am reviewing the bagged because, well, it's actually available in stores. Carrying on...let me number the ways I love this /t/.

One, it smells like the Old Spice of /t/. It's sweet-smelling in a manly way. We're talking some sort of imaginary molasses/honey hybrid with a hint of fruit. Wait, fruit is manly? Damn straight it is. Chicks love fruit. Therefore, if you have fruit, the transitive property concludes, the chicks will love you.
Two, the taste is great for its cheapness. Though to be honest, I think I got more caramel flavor from the ceylon than anything fruity like a mango. I'm the type of person who thinks mangoes taste like carrots. Because this /t/ does not taste like carrots, I can say that the mango flavoring either isn't accurate or there isn't enough of it. Still, there's a faint hint of "tropical" in there. I decided to investigate and look at the ingredients...

Three, Republic of Tea likes to look classy. I mean, look at those ingredients. They're using words to make their /t/ bags sound all classy and shit: "fine", "natural", and "sunflowers". Whoa, wait a second... sunflowers? Who's the genius who thought putting dull-tasting sunflower petals in a /t/ would help the cause? Damn it RoT, just when your /t/ was getting some stellar marks, you had to go around and ruin it for yourselves. Your MANLINESS just shat itself. Consider yourselves lucky that I can't taste flowers in my /t/.

Four, the other random attributes lead to a pretty successful /t/. It's a little acidic and dusty for my taste, but I like the thickness. Together, they actually balance out pretty well. And though you'll pay twice as much per bag, you get a MUCH more solid /t/ than Lipton

What: Mango Ceylon (Republic of Tea)
How much: $0.28/ bag ..... but cheaper if you buy it looseleaf, of course
What kind: Black - Mango
Taste: Caramel mixed in with some light berry notes. If you're looking for mango, keep looking.
Repeat Drinkability: 9/10 (I'll give /t/-bags one thing in their favor, they are ridiculously low maintenance. Can't think of one trait that's better than that in the morning.)
Manliness: 7/10 (You can't spell "mango" without MAN. Should be higher but there are flowers in this /t/. Unacceptable.)

1 comment:

  1. 'Your MANLINESS just shat itself.'

    This teablog is all kinds of right, but that right there wins my blog of the day award.