Friday, July 1, 2011

SPONSOR: /T/ouché

Dart girl is a bad liar
Duke just can't say no
Tea_Pain, closet film maker

Oh, look at that, Tea_Pain is an amazing poet too. I'm like Shel fucking Silverstein in his prime.  Here Duke, have a limerick:

Tea_Pain once sat in his closet
Waiting for Duke to come bop it
He sat in a chair
Camera focused where
Duke came before Dart girl touched it.

Thanks to working a half-day, the filming of that tape will that make an excellent, future blackmailing.  Now I shall /t/.

Seriously, not halfway through our last sponsor, we got to talking with the people at Suffuse tea and they sent us a few rooibii blends.  Sweet deal, we're always trying to broaden our horizons and prove how impeccable the gift of DA HONG PAO has been to mankind.  Here's a fun fact, our /t/ guy had to pay the mailman 40 cents at the door so he could get the package (yay lack of stamps!).  No worries, I let him watch the video of Duke looking like this and he let the money slide.  I opened up the large envelope to see a mixed bag of /t/bags beside a pouch of loose stuff.  I guess I'll save the loose for when Duke decides to stop crying in his room.

So, normally we've had red rooibos blends, but Suffuse decided to spoil us with a GREEN version.  I guess this is like a suburban white kid trying to identify which Power Ranger is best, some swear by red, others by green... but the pink one is always sofuckinghot. Because I was curious about green rooibos, I went to Wikipedia where the masses said I should taste something "malty and slightly grassy".  The packet I received said "mint".  For some reason, I feel like I will be tasting more mint than anything resembling rooibos...

Ha, I was right.  This is just a run-of-the-mill, bagged mint /t/, sans caffeine.  Unlike many of the other rooibos blends we've encountered, this one didn't even remind me of a rooibos.  This probably comes from several factors that are directly linked to it coming in a /t/bag.

Moral of this story:
Dart girl can hold her liquor,
Duke is an asshole,
/T/bags are still nastastic.

What: Peppermint Green Rooibos  (Suffuse Tea)
How much: $0.63/oz if you get it loose
What kind: Rooibos - Mint
Taste: Winterfresh gum going on it's 30th minute.
Repeat Drinkability: 5/10  (Beats the taste of throat coat, but I wouldn't drink this every day and/or week)
Manliness: 3/10  (Suffers from 3rdº meh-itis)


  1. Your haiku isn't 5-7-5. Tsk tsk. Try again loser.

  2. Where'd you learn how to count? Japan?

  3. Yeah apparently, cause in Japan five is five and seven is seven. You know what they say about Asians and math. Last time I checked "Dart girl is a bad liar" is seven syllables. "Duke just can't say no" is five. "Tea_Pain, closet film maker" is seven. Haiku "5-7-5"

    Lanoue, David G. Issa, Cup-of-tea Poems: Selected Haiku of Kobayashi Issa, Asian Humanities Press, 1991, ISBN 0-89581-874-4 p.8

    Duke knows true haiku
    Tea_Pain counts like a drunk girl
    Dishonors the Blag

  4. Bizarro haiku is successful.