Riskopoly and the inevitable Rapture

Hey y'all.  Check out the full Riskopoly and Tea and Rapture sponsored by Element Tea:

Post 1: Puppies, Sunshine, and Rainbows
Post 2: Deez Coconuts
Post 3: Kill it with fire...
Post 4: I'mma get that bitch a cannon
Post 5: The tea that sank a thousand dollars...
Post 6: The North and South fighting...
Post 7: The Osama bin Laden of Tea

Modified, balanced Riskopoly rules to come.

7) Riskopoly and Tea: The Osama bin Laden of Tea

Premise: So it was down to Pain and Brosef #1.  Quickly actually.  Pain still profited from an epic secret deal that he and Duke disguised during the whole "Fuck Duke" campaign by Brosef #1.  But Pain pulled it through.  Because of time constraints he decided to agree to a draw with Brosef #1, i.e. Pain is now known as Sally the Candy Striper.

5) Riskopoly and Tea: The /T/ That Sank a Thousand Dollars in Australia

DukeOEarl: One of the great things about Riskopoly is the ability to extort money from other players.  However, it particularly sucks when it happens to you.  Such is the case with Pain, who was told by Brosef #1, "Give up your monopoly or you will be wiped off the Risk board by my 22 armies in Africa." So Pain, being the capitalist pig that he is, sees an opportunity to profit from such a threat.  Pain trades two of the monopoly properties to Duke, dissolving the monopoly, with the conditions unknown to Brosef #1 that in two Risk turns, the properties will return to Pain, and I will be paid $1000.  Since Brosef #1 was still in the act of buying the armies when extorting the Pain, I decided to place the armies in Asia and finally wiped out the freshman via a backdoor.  However, he lost a lot of armies and Pain promptly took Central America to prevent Brosef 2 from holding all of N.A.

4) Riskopoly and Tea: I'mma get that bitch a cannon

Tea_Pain: Bitches love cannons. So I bought my Panamanian bitch a cannon and started running train on North America.  Oh you want to destroy my continent? Fuck yes I do.

DukeOEarl: Yeah, and you know what China? You're gonna die too.  Why? Because you have fucking Nepal and Nepal loves to be in the middle of war.  Free Tibet? I'm about to liberate you all to heaven with my chariots and tanks.  Also free ice cream for all my citizens on Wednesdays.

3) Riskopoly and Tea: Kill it with fire, like the rainforest

Tea_Pain: After the freshman was too stupid to resist $1000 for the biggest trade rape of the year, he decided that he would takeover Europe instead of the rest of N.A. for which he had the majority of the countries.  And by takeover Europe, we meant take over Greenland, stopped his onslaught, and was promptly slaughtered in N.A. by Brosef #1 who had the rest of N.A..  With all his troops on loosely spanning Asia and Europe, the freshman will probably be killed, spreading mass death and destruction across the icy tundra other than that which was caused by the installation of oil pipelines or melting glaciers.  Someone should call his mommy again and tell her about his boo-boo.

2) Riskopoly and Tea: Deez Coconuts

DukeOEarl:  So Tea_Pain started out by taking the rest of South America, and I started by taking the rest of Australia.  We formed an underground alliance by texting each other (as is common practice in Riskopoly).  A young, naive freshman (see: Riskopoly n00b a.k.a. blue) who the guys are trying to school on all things manly got stuck with half of Europe and Asia.  I, being the selfless champion that I am, decided to teach the freshman the hard way by trading $1000 for a monopoly property that gave me the second worst monopoly on the board (see: trade rape).  But since money is money, the monopoly will end up paying dividends and the other guys will probably kill the freshman for how dumb he is.  Pain's laughter and smart-ass insults caused the freshman to quickly phone his mommy and therapist.

1) Riskopoly and Tea: Puppies, sunshine and rainbows

And so it begins... Our game of 5 players begins at the last sign of peace.  To celebrate the Gandhi-ness of the first turn, we steeped some Serene Green and got to work on building up our monopolistic empires.  Duke and I (race car and top hat)  Having played the game several times in the past, look to build upon past success in the monetary aspects of the game so as to royally screw over everyone later.  Undoubtedly, this should end well.  On to the Risk board...

Riskopoly: Sponsored by Element Tea

Recently, we received a large sampling of /t/ from Element Tea. We also recently finished finals week.  So, in order to say "fuck the establishment" and make full use of a metric shit-ton of /t/, we decided to dedicate an entire day to the manliest activity we've ever had the pleasure to experience and share.  If you're thinking a monster truck show at the Super Bowl driven entirely by a team of velociraptors with barbed wire tattoos and Gatling guns standing in for their stubby, useless arms, you're only slightly off.  That's right bitches, we're gonna be playing RISKOPOLY.