Podcast 9: Winter Is Coming (and so is Teavana)

Podcast 9: Winter Is Coming (and so is Teavana)

What: Rooibos Peach Bloom (Teavana)
How much: No idea but probably as much as your gold teeth. Could not find this shit on their wobsite to save our lives. Probably renamed it and sell it as something else.
What kind: Rooibos - Peach
Taste: Like peach faygo tea
Repeat Drinkability: 7/10 (rating to be re-enacted below)

DukeOEarl: Who loves peach soda?
Tea_Pain: Tea_Pain loves peach soda.
DukeOEarl: Is it true?
Tea_Pain: MMHMMMMM. I do I doIdoIdoIdo-oo
 
Manliness: 3/10 (Air-humping a Cosmo magazine turned to a picture of Zac Efron)

One of these days we mean to get a full Teavana sponsorship, but they're probably too cheap to send us a healthy sampling of their teas.

To Teavana and Back

As we all know, Teavana is a great example of the generic "Sales 101" scenario.  "You like a product? Well here's one that's twice as good because it costs twice as much!" or "Do you need any accessories for that hobby associated with our store? Because we have twice as many expensive models of the thing you need for sale."  I know... I can tell everything in Teavana must be amazing because of the price.  I mean, let's go DEEPER and theoretically show that, because their /t/ is so expensive, it must be so high in demand that people were lining up out the door.  I present you with the line I saw stopping traffic and averting those too weak to stand in line for months to get their Monkey-Picked Oolong (which I'm still convinced is afflicted with meh-itis)...

...or not... 

/T/ea and Alcohol: The Saga

Tea_Pain:  We've been thinking for a while about how best to divulge our experiences with Madison's... lust for drinking.  Do we we buy a keg and get ridiculously trashed for your entertainment? Do we steep random tea bags in lukewarm Keystone to see if we can make it taste like something?  Do we invite Sarah Palin for a /t/ party while she's up in Madison saying "You betcha" and "Herp derp, Russian polar bear!"?  To us, the answer to all of these was clearly no way in hell.  We decided that, like all of our other posts, we'd let our manly ingenuity run wild.  We would set aside the night before the world-famous Mifflin Block Party to prepare our livers for cirrhosis and other fun diseases.  Plus, we thought to ourselves, how could we be "men" without binge drinking?  And so began our search for drinks in our version of Iron Bartender, secret ingredient: /t/. Our drunken thoughts follow this drinking list for the night.  In order of tasting we have:

1. Peach-Schnapps Iced Tea
2. The Girl Scout
3. Over 9000
4. Used Car Smell (merits its own review)
5. The Cougar
6. /T/n/T/
7. Wrath of the Iron Goddess
8. Apartheid
9. The Final Level