Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Kama eSutras

Check out the podcast below and vote on the troll poll above!  See the podcast for full descriptions of the answers.  For whatever reason the title won't show up.  The question is: What technique should Tea_Pain use to meet women at the bars?

Podcast 5: The Blag's experience with the Kama eSutras





What: Defense (eSutras Organics)
How much: $2.50/oz
What kind: Herbal
Taste: I just drank the insides of a thrift store.
Repeat Drinkability: 0/10 (Pretty sure Pig Pen wouldn't wash himself with this stuff)
Manliness: 0/10 (Too many words in the description.  We like shit simple.  Like an abstract.)


What:    ALL (eSutras Organics)
How much: $2.50/oz
What kind: Herbal
Taste: Fuck my tongue into pieces, this is my last herbal. Shoulda had a darjeeling, don't give a fuck if this tastes like it's healing. This is my last herbal.
Repeat Drinkability: 0/10 (This isn't the kind of thing you should put by your mouth)
Manliness: 7/10 (Men love dirty things)

EDIT: Duke is blaming Pain for no pics. WTF Tea_Pain.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

SPONSOR: Thanksgiving Special Brought to you by Butiki Tea and Fat Chicks!

Click to play below! Also GoogleImage "fat chicks" to get us to #1! (safe search off, men)

Podcast 4: Thanksgiving Special 2011



What: Wild Purple Bud Pu-erh (Butiki Tea)
How much: $17 million an oz
What kind: pu-erh
Taste: butter / showered female
Repeat Drinkability: 2/10 (See the argument between Pain and Duke)
Manliness: 2/10 (Butter, lettuce, showers.. I mean srsly)

What: Teaducken
How much: ????
What kind: ???
Taste: made Tea_Pain vomit
Repeat Drinkability: 10/10 (I'm force-feeding this to Pain whenever I can -Duke)
Manliness: 10/10 (Gravy and tea?!!! Yes please.)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

SPONSOR: 99 problems but a Butiki ain't one

Click to play below.  Check the podcast for last week's troll poll results!

Podcast 3: 99 problems but a Butiki ain't one









What: Pistachio Ice Cream  (Butiki teas)
How much: $4.75 / oz 
What kind: Pistachio, Green
Taste: Like a Rachael Ray snack
Repeat Drinkability: 5/10 (see podcast)
Manliness: 5/10 (a mix between aerobics and deez results in 5)







What: Royal Golden Safari   (Butiki teas)
How much: $11.50 / oz  :-O
What kind: Kenyan, black
Taste: Dark chocolate malt
Repeat Drinkability: 7/10 (smooth like the barrel of a poacher's gun)
Manliness: 9/10 (you will make rhinos extinct if you drink this tea)

We'd like to extended a thank you to Joy's Teaspoon / Naomi for featuring us on Naomi's blog for Movember.  Check it out here.  Also buy some tea from our sponsors!

Monday, November 14, 2011

SPONSOR: The Stash Strikes Back

Click play below, and answer the troll poll after listening, damn it! Hint: it's on the right.

Podcast 2: The Stash Strikes Back



What: Christmas Morning
How much: ~$3.00/ oz (loose)
What kind: Frankentea
Taste: Even if it's loose leaf, a BLACK tea that is this bland on the palette is rare for obvious reasons.
Repeat Drinkability: 3/10  (It's incredibly safe... don't like too much tea flavor? you're in luck. Have about 3 pounds of sugar you don't know what to do with? Throw it in here. Need something to water your plants every other day? Use a Budweiser.)
Manliness: 4/10 (KFC is still the only place we know that can throw a whole bunch of shit in a bowl and make it taste good.)


What: Red Chai
How much: ~2.50/oz (loose)
What kind: Rooibos
Taste: Like Christmas, ironically.
Repeat Drinkability: 5/10  (Repeat steeps for a rooibos and it's pretty dece for a spicy tea. We'd use this as body wash if 1) we weren't men or 2) we didn't already smell like bacon.)
Manliness: 3/10 (What makes the red man red? Being caught drinking this in public.)

Monday, November 7, 2011

The /T/ea Blag v2.0

Welcome to the Tea Blag v2.0

Click play below, and as always, let us know what you think about the new format.

Podcast 1: The Return of the Blag




What:  Lipton...again...this is like pooping while running
How much: This is cheaper than dirt...yes
What kind: Dirt Tea
Taste: See podcast, but for a tl;dr, suspiciously dirt-tasting
Repeat Drinkability: 0.5/10  (Like multiple oral hara-kiri's.)
Manliness: 1/10  (Richard Simmons once shit a rainbow more manly than this)